Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
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