Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
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