I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
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