It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
