it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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