you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
