i just had sex bonerless
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
