Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Randomize
