i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
