i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I understand Curling. That high.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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