she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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