I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
