You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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