you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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