And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
We're using joints as your birthday candles
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
