I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
