In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
