I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
