He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
