:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
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