omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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