Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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