did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
