.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
