Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
she pinky promised me she was 18
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
My feet surprised me
Randomize
