i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
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