some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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