I hate all girls vehemently.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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