LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Randomize
