Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
If I die, sorry about rent.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Randomize
