I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
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