that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
