I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
