Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
