watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
