Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Randomize
