he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
