Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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