We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
