Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
