there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
