Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
