Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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