You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Your dad touched me again.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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