If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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