a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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