Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
