The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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