she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
you win again, gameday.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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