i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Randomize
