shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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