bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
last night I used snow as a chaser
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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